Gestating

Being pregnant is like being in some sort of other alternate universe sometimes. Last night, I was doing just great and then all of a sudden I thought I was going to spend the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. People ask me all the time "how are you feeling?" and I honestly hesitate to tell them that I'm feeling good, because I know that at ANY minute at the blink of an eye I could be feeling HORRIBLE. Not that I'm not thankful, we've waited for this baby for a long time and tried for a long time to get pregnant. It's just that I was kind of under this impression that I would get pregnant and then have 9 months to "get ready." Boy oh boy, (or girl for that matter) was I wrong!

Immediately after I found out I was pregnant all my weird symptoms began to add up to something that made sense and rather than having 9 months of blissful waiting (as I naively thought one has), I've been given 9 months of active preparing and coping. It's funny, I never even thought of the impact that the baby would have on me, my health, my emotions, and my day to day life before I could physically hold it in my hands, but the reality of the situation is that this baby inside of me is impacting almost everything I do... and it's not just because I go to the restroom like 1,000 times a day, that I'm insatiably hungry, or that I can go from fine to incredibly nauseous in 2.2 seconds!

Pregnancy is an interesting time. God uses it to get us ready for what is ahead, and to show us things that we need to learn while there's still a little bit of quiet around. It has taught my husband how to care for me, and give me more grace...these days I need a LOT of it. It has taught us how to communicate better, it has taught me to be patient and trust God, for He is the one weaving the life in me. My sister calls everyday and says "what are you doing" and I've begun to give the answer "gestating" I'm being emotionally formed into the mother that God wants me to be for this child, and while I am carrying this baby, He is the one who is growing it, creating it, and giving it the very fabric that it will carry in its body. Isn't it a miracle?